The other day my father sent me an email titled "2 tough questions". I read the email and thought it was very interesting. However one thing stuck out in the email that didn't sit well with me. Time and time again I hear people refer to people with special needs as "mentally retarded" or the like. You have heard me hop on my soapbox and speak about this word and you know my feelings about it however I wanted to post this reply that I had to my fathers original email because it has some "food for thought".

Here is the "2 tough questions" original email:

2 Tough Questions

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three
who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had
syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates. Who would you vote for?
Candidate A
He associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist.
He's had two mistresses.
He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon,
used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero.
He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke,
drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be our choice?
Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading..
Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember:
Amateurs...built the ark.
Professionals...built the Titanic
And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that
has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...

Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to
keep the rest of us in line.

...and here is my reply

Time to hop on my soapbox. In the first question of my father’s email one of the children is described as “mentally retarded”. I know that this has been an accepted term in the past however I do not believe and will not accept this as an ok term today. I am aware that there are so many touchy feely people out there who complain about being hurt over silly things, however the word “retard” refers to a group of people who are incapable of defending themselves. People use “retard” in disparaging or derogatory ways. Such lines as “you are such a retard” or “that is so retarded” or “I’m so retarded” are completely unacceptable. If I were a betting man I would bet that the majority of you have used or still use those lines in your daily speech. I was guilty of this before my wife and I had our first child.

You will never fully comprehend the impact that the word “retard” has unless you have a child with disabilities. I have a daughter who has Down Syndrome, her name is Madison, she is a beautiful angel. I have come to the conclusion (as has my wife Meag) that it is my responsibility to educate people on how hurtful that word is. Every time I hear that word I cringe, it hurts. You will be surprised as I was to know that the majority of people that use the word “retard” in a disparaging or derogatory way are LDS church members. Of the 100’s of people I work with at Microsoft only one person has said that word before. It’s amazing to me the standards by which members of the LDS church live by and the values that we place in our families and yet the r-word is used so often. I challenge each of you to take a day, week, or month and keep track of how many times you hear the r-word. You will be shocked at the results. I know of many people in my own family who use this word and don’t think anything of it. I feel it is my responsibility to bring them to that realization. I plead with each of you to stop using that word. You hurt parents like me every time you say it but much more importantly you hurt the people with disabilities like my beautiful daughter Madison.

Here is a great blog post written by a woman who is the mother-in-law of a good friend of mine. She used to work with people with disabilities for 22 years. She talks about the “People First Language”.

http://grandmahenke.com/grandma/?p=197

Another good read is on my blog.

http://matt.mattandmeag.com/archives/2007/3/r-word_speech_by_soeren_palumbo.aspx

I hope you all take the time to pay special attention to what you or others around you say for at least a day. You will be amazed at how many times people use the word "retard". It needs to stop!